People Truths
Being a good manager is hard because people are hard.
Being a good manager is hard because people are hard.
I've never been able to manage or interact with two people in the same way. Though two people might be similar, especially in communication style or work style, everyone needs something a little bit different from their manager. This is why managing people is so difficult. It requires time and investment into who is on the staff, not just the work they are doing.
Figuring out how to communicate with each direct report is critical in a successful relationship. There are a lot of personality tests and quizzes that we can take to help figure it out, but those based more on communication style is the best way to figure out how to talk to someone. It really matters, especially when the message is hard. If it's not communicated in a way that the person can hear it, you've not made any progress. For example: Does the person prefer face-to-face or written communication? Does it take them some time to process what others are saying? Are they direct or indirect in their communication?
People who need time to process need to prepare, so managers should give them a heads-up about what's needed so they can feel comfortable having a discussion. People that prefer face-to-face communication usually need to process verbally, and will need space to speak their minds. Ensuring that the people you manage have the time, space, and format they need to understand and follow through on a conversation sets them up for success.
I've encountered a lot of co-workers or direct reports who have a really hard time processing how something feels to them. It's not usually about good or bad, it's that the feelings are illogical and get in their way.
For example, let's say the leadership team has decided to implement a new policy. The policy is logical; it makes sense, it drives the mission of the company, and it will ultimately help make the organization better. But the way the policy was communicated didn't feel great. Maybe it was announced via a staff meeting and it felt like company was being chastised. Maybe it appeared like it was a reaction to something negative. Despite the fact that the policy makes sense, the feeling around how it was communicated can sometimes can in the way of people actually adhering to it.
The traditional management reaction is to push harder, "Do this, it's the policy, goodbye." But that doesn't work if there are unresolved feelings about it. Just like clients, co-workers want to be heard. They want management to hear them, they want leadership to hear them. The want to know that someone is paying attention. Even if their feelings require that they agree to disagree, just being heard will make a world of difference in allowing them to process and follow a new policy change.